Week Two

Dear Fam,

I'm not sure exactly where to start because there is always just so much to tell you, but I hope this letter isn't quite as long as the last one :).
First off, I hope you got the letters I sent last week. I hadn't heard anything so maybe they got lost in the mail....I hope not. Second, I would really appreciate it if you could send me a number of things. Sorry! But I really need some medicine I have been completely  out for over a day now. I was going to send you a letter that said exactly "Dear parents, Please send medicine. I'm dying. Love, Hermana Kuhn" but I thought that might seem ungracious and I just didn't make the time to put it in the mailbox. Whoops! But anyway, please send medicine. Thanks. Next, I would love it if you could send me a few photos of the fam, preferably the newest ones, to keep with me forever and always. Also, I would appreciate Jordan Bell's address and email address if possible (can be found on his facebook) as well as Cheyenne Young's email address (you may have to request it via facebook) because I need to talk to her too. I would love my normal pair of shoes (look like toms), & a few more pairs of socks. Oh and just a head's up now, I have a ton of extra stuff now that I don't need to take to Argentina (they gave me a quite a bit here) so they said we can leave our excess stuff in this place here in Provo for our parents to pick up some time so I think that may be my best option.

Haha wow! Lots of requests. Sorry! But moving on, I will not be singing in the general relief society broadcast. The sister missionaries will be singing but I'm afraid that we won't be able to be a part of it because on the day they handed out applications at choir practice my companion and I had to miss practice because of a couple of meetings with our branch president...darn it! I would have liked to be a part of that, but oh well.

So, as I mentioned before we are teaching a number of investigators all the time in Spanish. One of them, Melvin, has committed to baptism and we have a date set and everything. But we started teaching another investigator this week, Angel (who is really Hermano Martinez- my amazing teacher, pretending to be one of the people he taught on his mission in Mexico). My companion and I are having the hardest time ever teaching him because he doesn't believe in God, or Jesus Christ, or the scriptures, and he doesn't really care to know or want to find out whether or not we have a Heavenly Father. It has been the trickiest thing ever. In fact, every time we have gone in to teach him I have totally bombed it. Our first lesson we were teaching about our Heavenly Father when he told us that he didn't believe in God. Not knowing what to do, my first reaction was, "Well, In the year 1820..." and I went on to teach about the first vision and explain that we knew we had a Father who had flesh and bones because of this vision. But I totally skipped teaching about Jesus Christ and everything! Oh man, it was brutal. And the second time was worse! Not going to lie, in class I just felt guilty for not being able to teach what my Heavenly Father needs me to-- even though he is just a fake investigator I need to learn to teach to people's needs now-- and I started to cry during class. I didn't make a scene or anything but I just felt super overwhelmed and at the same time so grateful for my teacher (and the Spirit he teaches with) who helped us out a ton after our lesson.

I have had a couple of experiences like that this week. To be honest, I have cried a couple times, it has never really been bad crying, especially in the other two cases, but I have definitely been pulling out the water works as of late. I would talk more about my other experiences but they are kind of personal so I probably won't be sharing them, but they were cool experiences for me. :) Maybe one day I'll let you read my journal. But through my experiences, I know that Heavenly Father is trying to help me become a better servant for Him. But, it is up to me whether or not I become one based on how I react to His teachings and the work that I put in. I know that learning comes little by little, but it comes. My Spanish has improved quite a bit, but I do need to focus on it more. During class most of the time I know what my teacher is saying without focusing too hard because I just pick up the really basic words but I need to start listening closer, and pick out the big words so I can understand exactly.        

I can't even say, again, how much I look up to my teachers: Hermano Martinez, Hermano Byrd, Herman Waddoups (who is from Idaho Falls) and Hermana Avery are truly AMAZING!!! I want to be so much more like all of them. They are 100% tools in Heavenly Father's hands and they teach completely by the Spirit. I have been SO blessed to have them as my teachers! I was talking to Hermana Avery yesterday, more or less asking her what I could do to become more like her and the other teachers. After a nice discussion she said something along the lines of, "Heavenly Father will put in front of you the exact teachers, companions, people and circumstances you will need along your mission to help you learn and grow as He desires." I thought that was just the coolest thing ever! He sure knew that I needed the teachers and the fantastic companion that I have and I am so grateful that He let me have them. Who knows what lays ahead in the future but whatever it is, it will be for my good so I can become what Heavenly Father needs. I am so grateful for that knowledge! Really, I just don't want to mess up any opportunity to bring someone to Christ or to help someone return to live with Heavenly Father again because I was unworthy or because I haven't put forth enough effort. Really, my biggest fear is that I will just be a mediocre missionary. It would be one thing to endure my mission but another completely to become what my Heavenly Father desires and to truly become His servant.

Ok, sorry that was probably just an overload of my thoughts. In fact, most of you probably don't even want to know that much but it's actually pretty nice to write it :). Though it probably sounds like I am super stressed, I am surprisingly not. All in all, even though things are kind of crazy and I am being stretched, I can feel myself learning little by little and I am really happy for that. I just hope and pray that I don't do the wrong or not do enough to be the best missionary I can. And that is totally up to me.

Ok, that's about enough. The camera is still not working so I will borrow my companion's again and include a few- just some zone, district, and companion photes. I love you all very much!

Love,
Hermana Kuhn

P.S. I'm pretty sure that this letter is even longer than the last one. Whoops! My bad :).